Put your hand up if you have been told to just “leave your dog to cry it out” when they’re distressed about being alone, well sadly you’re not alone and yes it happened to me. It’s a really common piece of advice but trust me, it’s also a deeply unhelpful one, especially for dogs suffering from separation anxiety.
Why Letting Your Dog “Cry It Out” Can Be Harmful
The idea behind letting a dog cry it out is that they’ll eventually learn you always come back, they will self soothe and just get used to being alone. But here’s the reality, dogs with separation anxiety aren’t being dramatic or disobedient they’re experiencing a real intense fear and distress.
Leaving a dog to “just get over it” on their own doesn’t teach them independence, or that they are safe, it teaches them that being alone is terrifying and that no one is coming to help. Over time, this can make the anxiety worse. You could see an increase in destructive behaviour, barking, howling, pacing, or even self-harm. The emotional toll on your dog can be significant and the damage to your bond can take time to heal.
Separation Anxiety Is Not a Behavioural Choice
It’s important to understand that separation anxiety isn’t your dog trying to misbehave, it’s a panic response. Your dog isn’t choosing to act out when left alone, they’re reacting from a place of genuine fear. Just like people with anxiety or phobias, dogs need support, not punishment.
A dog left to repeatedly “cry it out” may eventually shut down emotionally, leading to a state called learned helplessness. This is where they no longer even try to escape or show distress, not because they’re better, but because they have given up, and that is not a healthy or humane outcome.
Why Working with a Separation Anxiety Behaviourist Makes All the Difference
Helping a dog with separation anxiety takes time, structure, and a compassionate approach. That’s where a qualified separation anxiety behaviourist can make a huge difference. A behaviourist understands how to assess your dog’s anxiety and create a personalised, gradual training plan to help them feel safe and secure when left alone.
At The Dogz Hub, I work closely with you to:
- Identify your dog’s specific stress triggers
- Build a step-by-step training plan that works at your dog’s pace
- Offer consistent support, encouragement, and troubleshooting
- Help both you and your dog feel more confident and calmer with time apart
I use only a kind, science-based approach that avoids fear and builds trust, so your dog learns that being alone doesn’t have to be scary.
Let’s Help Your Dog Feel Safe Again
It can be truly heart wrenching to see your dog in distress, and the idea of leaving them to cry it out can make things even worse. But remember you’re not alone and you don’t have to figure it all out by yourself.
I’m Debra from The Dogz Hub, and I’m here to support you and your dog every step of the way. Get in touch today for a free consultation, and let’s start building a calmer, happier future together for you and your dog.